This thought has been sparked from a Skype conversation with a very close friend, about possibly fearing and not stating out aloud exactly what it is we still want. And here’s my solo thoughts on the matter to continue the inquiry…..

If we come back to the 3 key fears that come up for people (as shared by the masterful American public speaking mentor, Datta Groover), they are: when in front of others we want…….

• We want to be seen as competent
• We want to be accepted as part of the tribe
• We want to be liked

This also relates to what Oprah Winfrey shared in her address to graduates at a top American Uni (was it Yale?!? No, maybe Stanford!), which is, after interviewing some 10,000 individuals she has noticed a theme that every single one of them shared at the end of an interview after the cameras stopped rolling (that’s interviewees ranging from a typical US Mom-from-the-suburbs through to Obama and J.K.Rowling), which was:

• “Did I do o.k.?” (which to me is a summary of all 3 key fears listed above)

Sooooooo, from the context of having held back from stating out loud, in-depth, what it is that I am wanting, do any of those 3 fears play into this? Hmmmmmm.

As I’d been talking to my friend over Skype I had a wish come up about being able to have a longer holiday overseas when I head to Europe and Asia later this year, and to spend some time with her. And then I went to my ‘do I really want this?’ space. What came up was a ‘yes……………but’ answer.

The ‘but’ was two-pronged (interesting that they are the shape of a fork, I wonder what if they were more like hoola hoops?!? Anywayyyyy) – one was around the responsibility factor of taking so much time away, and secondly, the likely strain this could also put on my financial plans. So rather than stating it out loud and letting the Universe support me on getting to work on it I went into the ‘why it couldn’t work’ space. Which I’m grateful for as now it has got me thinking about this even deeper. Around the lines of what fear(s) is/are coming up around wanting to take an extra week away, and they are:

I want to be seen as competent and a piece of evidence that would display that for me is to have steps in place that upon my return I would feel no tightening of money flow, despite having had an extra week away.

Secondly, I want to be liked by my work teams and clients, not letting them down or putting them under pressure in my absence (interesting that I seem to deem my physical location could hold me back from sharing my essence and gifts).

And thirdly I want to be part of the tribe, the most important tribes to me, which has two parts for me – the first is time away from my partner, family and friends, and the second is time with one of my besties in a beautiful part of the world, at a moment which seems too good to miss. So have nicely covered all three in the fears department 🙂

Feels calming to acknowledge them and a good space to go into the feeling to check out which is the right decision for me to make. Some parts of this decision need to be shared and others are for myself to make. As long as I let myself know and feel that I am o.k. it’ll all be o.k. Feels great to be on your own team.

Call me if you are ready for an additional team member to join yours as a coach, teacher or mentor. And have I mentioned the power of such amazing technology as Skype to stay in touch ……………    😉

Have a stupendous think, feel, listen and vision on this one as you’ll know it’s right if it’s right. And remember, it is o.k. to ask for exactly what it is that you want.

The secret ingredient is….